Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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