"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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