shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
