you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
