is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
