Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize