i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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