he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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