didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
