Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
