ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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