Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We got so high we made milksteak
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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