Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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