Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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