In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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