i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
