i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
