Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
People in love make me want to vomit
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
