hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
