i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
