I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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