Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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