Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
