I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
