So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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