I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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