Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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