I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Hippo gnu deer
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
