Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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