fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
