Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
now i know why i became what i already was.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
