I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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