So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
