i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
