I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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