dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
