I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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