Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
