I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
