They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
