white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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