Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
