we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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