I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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