nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
