Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
