I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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