Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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