He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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