They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
