It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize