so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
