Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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