I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I looked at my own cervix.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
