he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
