IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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