She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
