Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
