Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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