can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize