Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
