I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize