My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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