At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
