You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We don't watch enough power rangers
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
