i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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