Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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