a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
