My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
