i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
