there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I want her autograph on my taint
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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