And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
