Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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