Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
