Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
