It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
